Partners who cope with the fall out from a disclosure of infidelity experience several stages, similar to a grieving and mourning process.
Taking up couple counselling at this time can be very helpful for couples to understand why it happened, to take responsibility for their actions, restore trust and work openly and honestly on underlying relationship issues.
Can you forgive?
Couples who can forgive and rebuild their trust following infidelity are likely to experience a positive change in their relationship and gain increased openness and communication. It is not an easy process as there are many difficult and conflicting emotions that have to be worked through before this change can take place. There will be anger expressed towards the partner who is responsible for the betrayal but he or she will be anxious to forget the episode and move on and may not be able to understand their partner’s inability or reluctance to do so.
What do we consider as an infidelity?
In our age of online social networking and other new technologies there are varied perceptions of infidelity; an actual affair, virtual internet relationships, chatrooms, pornography sites. Facebook usage, and even seemingly harmless flirty texts, can also be experienced as a betrayal if they are carried out secretively and then discovered by partners.
My partner has never done this before
If you have experienced a betrayal by your partner, and it is out of character for them, is there something worrying that he or she is it finding difficult to talk about? Do you have financial worries, health issues or family concerns, or perhaps you have experienced a build up of stressful factors within the family. I am not suggesting that this excuses the affair but it might be a symptom of deeper underlying issues.
If you value your relationship please consider relationship counselling as with help, you and your partner have the potential to create a stronger relationship together that can withstand the stresses of modern life.
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