NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is a very far-reaching subject. It can be used in Communications, Teaching, Personal Development and in dealing with emotional problems, stresses, anxieties, old unhelpful memories and troublesome emotions.
NLP works based on a number of thoughts and ideas and it is my aim to gradually explain these in my blog posts.
This post entitled ‘Don’t Think of a Blue Elephant’ explains a very important part of NLP. It is about the unconscious mind’s inability to process negatives.
So do it now, DON’T think of a blue elephant.
If you have really tried to NOT think of a blue elephant, you are currently thinking of a blue elephant (and perhaps trying to push it out of your mind, cross it out, or erase it).
This is because when you tell your unconscious mind NOT to do something it cannot process the ‘not’ part – it hears ‘think of a blue elephant’ and the ‘not’ comes later. It finds it very difficult to ‘not’ do something like that.
This is really important in terms of real life, as many people when they first come to me want to ‘not feel stressed’, ‘not feel so unconfident’ or ‘not get themselves into destructive relationships’.
I think you can work out for yourself what the unconscious mind thinks and does then:
‘feel stressed’
‘feel unconfident’
‘get yourself into destructive relationships’
Your internal dialogue, your own voice is the voice that your unconscious hears more than anybody else’s – so you want to make sure that what it is saying is helpful.
Direct, Positive Instructions
The unconscious works very well with direct instructions – if you are thinking of something you don’t want and it seems like you just seem to keep attracting it, you will now know why.
So it’s time to change what you say to yourself. Learn to phrase things positively, (and it will take some practice, so persevere!)
Some examples are (and you can come up with all sorts of varieties)
Don’t feel stressed – change to – Feel more relaxed and in control
Don’t be afraid – change to – Feel strong and confident
Making what you don’t want, not happen is not the same as making what you do want, happen!!
And if there is a situation you don’t want to happen, you can bet that thinking about it not happening, will only serve to attract it. So instead start to focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t want, and give some time and space in your life to nurturing and strengthening this new very positive image.
If you have something currently in your life that you want to change, then apply these techniques.
If you feel you need some help putting this into practice then I would love to help you. Just contact us.
Hayley Jones
NLP Master Practitioner.
If you would like to read more about NLP click here.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I use this very device when training and coaching people in communication skills (except I use a pink elephant – it seems more silly then a blue one to me!). To great effect, I see people alter their approach to perceived hostile situations (ie Presenting at work) by visualizing helpful/positive outcomes rather then ‘I don’t want…….’ outcomes.
It is an incredibly powerful technique which, when used deliberately can impact almost every area of your life.
You control your mind, it doesn’t control you!
Great article Hayley.
As a practitioner of NLP and hypnosis I concur with your point of focusing on what you are wanting. Some people are in the habit of constantly reinforcing what they do not want in their thought and actions. At the same time they wonder why their circumstances are not changing. By making a shift in where a persons places his/her focus can make a difference. Our job is to teach our clients these techniques so that they may have a better outcome.
Great article Hayley.
I’m fully committed to the principles of NLP and studied the subject as a senior manager in my last role. I have now taken it in to my present role in sales, were the applications and principles work extremely well.
Thank you for your comments Barry! Hayley.